tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post2396256607910385731..comments2023-10-30T14:26:47.315+05:30Comments on Hip Hop Grandmom: Unusual RelationshipsHip Grandmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-84867921979202373962011-11-04T15:35:57.906+05:302011-11-04T15:35:57.906+05:30Well you must thinking I'm digging into your o...Well you must thinking I'm digging into your old posts and reading..! Yes I love your writing and your thoughts ma'am! Coming to your post I feel sad for that lady , it's really her misfortune to have got married to such a man.I always thought men are more into these things, this was an eye opener for me and I know now all men are not alike!Tassunoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-845997391579805332010-09-19T21:53:57.180+05:302010-09-19T21:53:57.180+05:30hillgrandmom:The problem when it occurs is quite a...hillgrandmom:The problem when it occurs is quite a seious one and cannot be medically addressed.There seem to be different levels of it and to some an occasional hug and cuddling is acceptable but to others even this is a burden. A lot of counselling is required to prepare a normal person to adjust with an asexual one. We in India, as a society, try to brush it off as something that will get resolved with time.If the affected person(normal) is a woman then she is spurned as being shameless if ever she dares to open her mouth.On the other hand if the woman is asexual or less inclined her husband will not hesitate to impose himself on her or remarry.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-81477037204790176392010-09-19T21:43:46.685+05:302010-09-19T21:43:46.685+05:30Lalitha:I think if a person loves his/her partner ...Lalitha:I think if a person loves his/her partner impotency or abstention due to medical reasons may not matter. but the love should be strong enough to overlook the sexual/physical part of marriage. it takes time and effort to develop such an unconditional love.<br />Another aspect is that while a wife is expected to act in accordance to her husband's need a husband is encouraged by society to remarry if the wife has such a medical condition. Let alone his family the wife herself may look for a suitable partner for the husband.<br /><br />Dr.Antony:The man mentioned had a genuine problem. He was simply not interested and was perhaps made that way. Unfortunately he did not realize it before marriage.As you rightly say boredom does set in after a point of time and for most couples a life time companionship after a fulfilling conjugal life in the initial years is perfectly acceptable.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-67593111846840384092010-09-19T21:31:23.773+05:302010-09-19T21:31:23.773+05:30I just googled 'asexuality' after reading ...I just googled 'asexuality' after reading this post. I had never heard of it. Maybe an asexual person might be someone, like in fairy stories, who can fall in love with just the one person and if he/she never comes across the person, remains asexual? Whatever it is, it is a pity that parents so often like to ignore issues of their children's sexuality.hillgrandmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01805698959846687562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-88786032190938218412010-09-18T13:00:51.716+05:302010-09-18T13:00:51.716+05:30The notion that marriage is a way to achieve fulfi...The notion that marriage is a way to achieve fulfillment in life is relatively new. For a long time, people married out of economic necessity and to have children. Now, many people think of it as a road to personal satisfaction.<br /><br />Many complaints about marriage go something like this: "I am not happy with him/her anymore. I don't feel fulfilled." Such complaints are a result of overblown and misguided expectations.Sex is probably the most important thing which keeps the marriage going.But often,men feels a monotony over the pattern of sex with in marriage. The man you mentioned probably has no problems other than boredom. People who are not interested in sex within family,do so,outside the family. This is the reason extramarital relations grow and thrive. It is applicable to men and women alike.<br /><br />For that matter,the purpose of sex is only procreation? Probably this is the only entertainment for the poor class,and that is why their women keep on delivering every year. I don't think people engage in sex with the sole purpose of procreation, until a time comes when they decide to have a child.<br /><br />Then,there are other important things in marriage. The relationship between a husband and wife goes way beyond sex. A wife is a life time partner,not just an object of sex.Men who carry sexual fantasies in their minds are often reluctant to practice them with their wives,out of shame and fear.This is why sexual interests fade away in marriage with time.dr.antonyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16191095888228061156noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-31228087197479265092010-09-18T01:50:57.099+05:302010-09-18T01:50:57.099+05:30A very interesting and off topic read.how many tim...A very interesting and off topic read.how many times after years of being married and having children the husband gets impotent due to medical reasons,can that marriage survive when there is no sex and just companionship.what happens when the woman loves the man and would never leave him but the desire for sex is still there but just stays in the marriage and does not betray the husband.Is that the right thing to do?starryhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00250437477875291892noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-69738307317223870222010-09-17T20:04:37.507+05:302010-09-17T20:04:37.507+05:30poornima:i agree that parents like to keep their s...poornima:i agree that parents like to keep their son's minuses well covered and would like to blame the DIL for his shortcomings.It is a good thing that the current generation of young brides are protesting. This was unheard of till about 10 or 15 years back.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-35760381773452943842010-09-17T00:31:08.962+05:302010-09-17T00:31:08.962+05:30sorry Ive taken up so much space!sorry Ive taken up so much space!Poornimanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-40278644389599735142010-09-17T00:30:14.624+05:302010-09-17T00:30:14.624+05:30I bet you, many of the asexual/ gay/ impotent/ dis...I bet you, many of the asexual/ gay/ impotent/ disinterested men in the marriage market dont even KNOW that they fall in that category. The question of telling the girl can come only after that. First of all, Mummys pallu keeps him safely away from self or sexual discovery (which comes with its own scary baggage)of any kind. When he manages to shrug it off his head for a while to taste freedom, I don't think analysing his thoughts, feelings or preferences feature at all on his list of things-to-do. His antennae have been pampered to death with ghee, how would he read his own signals? <br />Then we have the guy who has REALIZED that hes asexual (or whatever else)…do you think he will ever sit down & talk to his parents about it?? Okay, say he does-can’t you imagine what his parents would do?! Most would think that marriage (without enlightening the girl of course) will prove to be the SOLUTION, thus setting in motion a lifetime of pain for everyone. <br />Before I got married, I had just one prayer to the powers that be: let my future husband have faults that I can tolerate. The emphasis being on 'I'. Thats the crux of it all. A particular woman may not view an asexual husband as a problem…in fact she probably won’t be able to handle an OVERLY sexed one. I, for eg, would never have been able to get along with one of those party animal types, but a close friend asks me how I ‘deal with’ my ‘anti social’ husband! Revelation, as I have never thought of him that way…in fact I find that trait in him very endearing...<br /><br />Sometimes life doesnt have any answers!Poornimanoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-91701372828664531072010-09-16T10:55:36.122+05:302010-09-16T10:55:36.122+05:30Classic case of sexual incompatibility. Some peop...Classic case of sexual incompatibility. Some people just dont want to have it or are happy with very little sex, and if they are paired with those who do want it, it can cause a lot of pain.Phoenixrituhttp://www.phoenixritu.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-18048085105733643502010-09-16T08:40:59.064+05:302010-09-16T08:40:59.064+05:30I think the answer to this is pre-marital sex...Th...I think the answer to this is pre-marital sex...The only way a person can find out if he/she is asexual is by having sex or trying to have sex before he/she gets married thus saving the spouse grief later on...Sraboneyhttp://ramblingsbybones.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-67160615836208422032010-09-16T08:31:06.761+05:302010-09-16T08:31:06.761+05:30You brought up something really taboo, HHG, it'...You brought up something really taboo, HHG, it's so unfair to the spouse...Indian families just assume that their children are ready and willing for marriage...and there's no communication nor freedom to refuse or take time...and that it can ruin another person's life is not taken into account. Where does the frustrated spouse get their urges satisfied?starry eyedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02821016011330573083noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-75448003552577351262010-09-15T19:30:46.269+05:302010-09-15T19:30:46.269+05:30This is an interesting matter regarding the kinds ...This is an interesting matter regarding the kinds of relatonships that exist!This kind is one that barely gets discussed! Kudos to you for bringing it up here!<br /><br />Yes, I am sure there are some that are less inclined to physical aspect of love, just as some depend a great deal on it, and some are a neat balance! But, it must be so hard to be the one to want a majorly platonic husband-wife rship, as surely the spouse will never get this point of view, as it is seen as abnormal!<br /><br />But, then seeing the needs of a more balanced partner being neglected, I wonder how such a relationship can carry on without huge problems of physical neglect arising, and even manifesting as fights, feelings of inadequacies, and perhaps for some, adultery!<br /><br />I have seen couples that barely get along or even look at each other, but have had a string of kids! But,when they get along well on all accounts but one, I wonder how much harder it must be to break off!<br /><br />Such a strange world, filled with so many varied problems! I drop in from time to time to read your posts! Each one is always a gem!!!!Indyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09800985691534527496noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-6534756854667480312010-09-15T19:11:18.107+05:302010-09-15T19:11:18.107+05:30Hi Hip Granma,
Real eye-opener this one. I ...Hi Hip Granma,<br /><br /> Real eye-opener this one. I did not know about asexuality. I think the person who is asexual, himself might not know until he marries and then discovers..! Either ways instead of coercing into living with each other, it's better to part amicably.<br /><br /> Long time, since I visited in here. Sorry about that.! Hope you're doing well.<br /><br />Have Fun, Take Care and God Bless!<br />With Best Regards,<br />Srijith.srijithunnihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04897386632437180172noreply@blogger.com