tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post7083768249609381541..comments2023-10-30T14:26:47.315+05:30Comments on Hip Hop Grandmom: Heartfelt........-2Hip Grandmahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-53311790933345620362009-01-27T09:30:00.000+05:302009-01-27T09:30:00.000+05:30I am sure many parents err this way - refuse to se...I am sure many parents err this way - refuse to see/ accept that something may be wrong with their darling child<BR/><BR/>But it need not be teh parents' fault - there is so much more influencing a child in its environArtnavyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15060564468230843716noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-49841582534836477872009-01-26T19:45:00.000+05:302009-01-26T19:45:00.000+05:30random thoughts;you are so right.Being firm when r...random thoughts;you are so right.Being firm when required cannot harm a child.<BR/><BR/>shahaja:welcome here.Nurture does play an important role in shaping one's nature.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-1370882572400822762009-01-24T02:19:00.000+05:302009-01-24T02:19:00.000+05:30Hmm...very true...I am just outta univ...and reall...Hmm...very true...I am just outta univ...and really cant tell you from a parents point of view, but as a child this is what I feel --<BR/><BR/>There were numerous times, when I thought, how did my mother teach us to be like this...i even think, that i shud let my children when i get be with my mom so that they also become good humans...<BR/><BR/>I feel, for whatever I am now - be it career wise or personal wise its because of my parents! for the way they brought us up!<BR/><BR/>I do agree that there is a lot of influence and role played by friends, company and environment around you! But I give all the credit to parents coz, they were my first teachers....they taught me what to see in world around and what to learn from each thing I come across! They taught me simply to be myself even amidst a crowd!!<BR/><BR/>Its definitely parents who <B>nurture</B> the <B>nature</B> of kids! They are the first GURUs !!<BR/><BR/>whether it is OBAMA or OSAMA its in the nuturing def....by saying this, I dont want to say good or bad people who achieve are not given the credit! OBAMA has def his own hardwork and talent to his credit, so does Osama for his history!<BR/><BR/>Ohh I dont know if I am clear enough but hope u got me!<BR/><BR/>Came here via Smitha's blog, adding to reader..would def come back soon :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-74721644063345383902009-01-24T01:16:00.000+05:302009-01-24T01:16:00.000+05:30Many a time being firm with the children helps. I ...Many a time being firm with the children helps. I don't understand what parents today want to prove. If we don't tell our kids right from wrong i'm sure we'll be failing in our duty.<BR/><BR/>Wonderful post.<BR/><BR/>RashmiAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00561743222129275067noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-38369026774146986242009-01-16T21:51:00.000+05:302009-01-16T21:51:00.000+05:30Vishesh:Freedom does not mean that one has the per...Vishesh:Freedom does not mean that one has the permission to be destructive.My son once got caned by the Principal for deflating cycle tyres along with a few friends.He was just 11 years old and cane marks across his behind brought tears to my eyes.i felt like confronting the principal but refrained from doing so.An occasional caning for being mischievous cannot harm him I told myself.I told him to be careful and explained that his act must have made the owner of the bicycle walk to the nearest repair shop which must have been difficult for him and it worked.He never did it again.<BR/><BR/>eve's lung:Went through the tag.Thanks.<BR/><BR/>priya:welcome here.<BR/><BR/>'I tend to think that parents take far *too* much credit for their kids achievements / good behavior. But looks like they should also take some of the blame for their bad behavior. '<BR/>How many parents do so?Very often even in a normal household achievements are credited to the dad and flaws to the mom.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-69777873593447932432009-01-16T19:23:00.000+05:302009-01-16T19:23:00.000+05:30enchanted:welcome here.Till the time I approached ...enchanted:welcome here.Till the time I approached them I had no idea that they'd react the way they did.I thought that the parents would ask the boy not tomeddle with other people's vehicles.<BR/><BR/>suma:'sometimes it seems an uphill task'.Very true.I think luck also plays a part in these things.Sometimes children of mild mannered parents become aggressive and vice versa.<BR/><BR/>sairekha:'Its important to inculcate in youngsters a healthy balance of self criticism and self assurance.'<BR/>This is exactly what parents fail to do.I've seen sisters drifting apart on account of their children.They cannot stand it if their own family criticizes their child.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-33516851502984033802009-01-15T21:29:00.000+05:302009-01-15T21:29:00.000+05:30smitha:Yes it is sad that parents don't differenti...smitha:Yes it is sad that parents don't differentiate between childhood behavior and deliberate disobedience/destructiveness.very often they feel happy when their children say things that are beyond their age and keep repeating it for all to hear.<BR/><BR/>joy:I think part of the problem were his parents who'd become defensive in situations that the child had to learn to deal on his own.But then it is also true that relatives and friend keep criticizing the child instead of being helpful and parents do feel hurt.<BR/><BR/>apu:Initially parents took up for the boy thinking that he was at the receiving end for no fault of his.Later they had to take up for him to cope with his tantrums.<BR/><BR/>ugich:Thanks.I'm honored.<BR/><BR/>Aathira:welcome here.Children certainly don't have it against parents if they are fair and punish them for their bad behavior or some such justified cause.But they also understand if they are punished/criticized for no reason.<BR/><BR/>oorjas:'calling ur kid shaniyan or Erumaimaadu is no way ok'<BR/>Totally agree.It is this very child that is confused about parenting rules when his turn comes and he/she becomes a parent<BR/><BR/>monika:you are right.The permutation/combination is tricky and it requires a balanced mind to get it right.don't worry.You'll be fine.you are quite a grounded person I feel.<BR/><BR/>dipali:"As parents we need to get our children used to some degree of frustration in their lives,"<BR/>very true.Our generation was better off.We could not afford certain things and frankly said so.It is more difficult these days with TV and I'net doing its bit.<BR/><BR/>Hillg'mom:children tend to pick up good/bad behavior from their parents and nurture is partly responsible.But how come two children from one family are so very different?<BR/><BR/>mampi:I've seen this happen but parents often don't think that much.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-86269948438497946662009-01-14T04:37:00.000+05:302009-01-14T04:37:00.000+05:30Gosh what a horrible story. I hope the boy gets so...Gosh what a horrible story. I hope the boy gets some help. And I don't think you are wrong to avoid him - If you don't get along with someone, it's just good sense to keep away and avoid another confrontation. <BR/><BR/>Its a sticky subject though. Personally, I tend to think that parents take far *too* much credit for their kids achievements / good behavior. But looks like they should also take some of the blame for their bad behavior. <BR/><BR/>good Luck with the neighbors.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-43637016950035322142009-01-10T22:04:00.000+05:302009-01-10T22:04:00.000+05:30Done the tag :)Done the tag :)Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14157665564024320442noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-72306900424492085012009-01-10T14:26:00.000+05:302009-01-10T14:26:00.000+05:30I had enough freedom ,but when I break tube light,...I had enough freedom ,but when I break tube light,I do feel it is wrong and it would mean I had to clean it(sometimes so that I can avoid the scolding)...Visheshhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14452040774198026145noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-33241949551777297392009-01-09T22:39:00.000+05:302009-01-09T22:39:00.000+05:30Hi all,will reply to every comment individually.bu...Hi all,<BR/>will reply to every comment individually.busy till the 15th.ugich,thanks for the award.will pass it on.<BR/>enchanted and sairekha welcome here.Hip Grandmahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16891699611146003601noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-25072463678692492692009-01-09T13:27:00.000+05:302009-01-09T13:27:00.000+05:30I'm seriously shocked at how the family backed up ...I'm seriously shocked at how the family backed up the child in believing that everybody else is to blame and everybody else is out to get them. Its important to inculcate in youngsters a healthy balance of self criticism and self assurance. A thought provoking post, HHG:)Sairekhahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01315402584142064271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-20401589573513384692009-01-09T08:34:00.000+05:302009-01-09T08:34:00.000+05:30that family was quite confrontational...i agree wi...that family was quite confrontational...i agree with your last para...<BR/><BR/>as parents we pray that our kids grow up to be good human beings...sometimes it seems an uphill task, sometimes you want to take the easy way out and give in but then we know that we would be cheating if we did that...aMushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14191649124291527517noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-64726359036986386512009-01-08T02:27:00.000+05:302009-01-08T02:27:00.000+05:30You are one gutsy lady to go and confront the fami...You are one gutsy lady to go and confront the family!! I wouldn't have dared to approach such a wild family.<BR/>I keep visiting often.. commenting for the first time.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-84383729228255781812009-01-07T23:30:00.000+05:302009-01-07T23:30:00.000+05:30absolutely right.Parents need to know that their s...absolutely right.<BR/>Parents need to know that their support in wrong issues will actually lead their own children to punish them ( Parents) when the time comes.Mampihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02151567171626446275noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-28988741643518209412009-01-07T22:03:00.000+05:302009-01-07T22:03:00.000+05:30Well HHG, nature is important more I think in term...Well HHG, nature is important more I think in terms of physical attributes and some kinds of intelligence, but where behaviour is concerned,in my experience, nurture counts for a lot. It is nurture which helps a child develop what Nature has given him, in a proper way. Sometimes it's not even the disciplining that a parent might do, but the actions of the parents, even feelings of parents, that children mirror their behaviour on.hillgrandmomhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01805698959846687562noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-64988386313527868082009-01-07T20:28:00.000+05:302009-01-07T20:28:00.000+05:30Such a tragic story. The family seemed so strangel...Such a tragic story. The family seemed so strangely defensive.<BR/>As parents we need to get our children used to some degree of frustration in their lives, something which teaches them that life is not just about fulfilling their desires.dipalihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01070862196307376073noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-41484232904235559772009-01-07T16:16:00.000+05:302009-01-07T16:16:00.000+05:30lovely and thought provoking post... the last few ...lovely and thought provoking post... the last few lines say everything so well... <BR/><BR/>regarding nature and nurture i guess the result depends on both is a combination and its our duty as parents to try and get the combination right from the point we can...<BR/><BR/>i hope I am able to do that with OjasMonikahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02627040210376581730noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-15764515581959604902009-01-07T12:45:00.000+05:302009-01-07T12:45:00.000+05:30i feel very sad when i see kids behaving badly and...i feel very sad when i see kids behaving badly and parents not doing much about it. but i feel sadder when kids are punished for being kids.. <BR/>we all learn by making mistakes only.. calling ur kid shaniyan or Erumaimaadu is no way ok. i can say that coz in our family i have never heard my parents calling me or my brother any bad words.. <BR/><BR/>Parenting is a topic on which i feel i can write a whole book. there are courses & training to become even a peon in an office but anyone can become a parent. people who hava no clue of how to raise kids are having full control of a child's life.. and we see the results everywhere...<BR/><BR/>hope i don't make the same mistakes.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-34116702187809041332009-01-07T11:06:00.000+05:302009-01-07T11:06:00.000+05:30I hope and pray that I shall rise my kids well, an...I hope and pray that I shall rise my kids well, and punish them for their mistakes. <BR/><BR/>I have been punished too when I was small, and I think those memories still make me think a lot before taking any step.Aathira Nairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11255345206244009650noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-84960294901742119912009-01-07T10:32:00.000+05:302009-01-07T10:32:00.000+05:30HHG, I have something on my blog waiting for you.....HHG, I have something on my blog waiting for you.....Ugich Konitarihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15901335427613806798noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-37216684830047906622009-01-07T09:13:00.000+05:302009-01-07T09:13:00.000+05:30Quite a story that was... I think the disproportio...Quite a story that was... I think the disproportionate reaction of the parents, esp when many people have been complaining about their son, does show that something was perhaps amiss with their parenting..Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-71744422087923244542009-01-07T00:22:00.000+05:302009-01-07T00:22:00.000+05:30Thought provoking post. I agree with you in the la...Thought provoking post. I agree with you in the last paragraph. When you said this can happen to anyone, it set me thinking. Shouldn't the way parents behave have some influence on kids, however stubborn or withdrawn (s)he is? Did S'a parents ever sit with him and talk to him? Maybe that could have helped him....Jayahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05053043951887070129noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29858077.post-89154724981897474052009-01-06T23:01:00.000+05:302009-01-06T23:01:00.000+05:30What you have written is so true.. I do think that...What you have written is so true.. I do think that the tendency to let a child get away with things also starts early - not necessarily at the teenage years.. I have seen children, my daughter's age(2.5), who are just not controlled.. I mean, a child who is allowed to bang on a laptop, from the time he was a child - will not really understand, if he is suddenly asked not to do so - when older.. You are so right when you say that 'Help them build a career but more importanly help them build their character - you owe it to them as well as society.'Smithahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06168565596774930645noreply@blogger.com