Monday, June 26, 2006

A saved marriage

HOW I SAVED MY MARRIAGE

It was an evening in October. I was returning from the market along with my husband and my two-year-old son when I remembered that I had promised to get chocolates for my daughters who had stayed at home. When I mentioned this to my husband he was in no mood to go back to the market and suggested that we could buy it later. When I insisted he snapped at me asking me to get a monthly allowance from my mother for such “luxury items”. I was appalled! My children were not my mother’s responsibility! How could he be so mean! Some how I could not digest his words and I felt that I had made a mistake in opting for marriage. I blamed my mother, my fate, luck and whatever I could think of, as being responsible for my plight.

Those were early years of our marriage. My husband was supporting a family of seven people including three children, an aging father and an unemployed older brother on his middle class income. He was by nature economical though to be fair to him he never compromised on quality. Our children went to good schools, they were well dressed and though they were not treated to dinner at fancy restaurants they had their share of good wholesome home made delicacies. As a young girl in my mid twenties I longed to be able to spend at will, have an occasional outing and wanted an end to this “hand to mouth” existence. To my young mind it appeared that other women of my age seemed to be having a good time while I played the “martyr”.

On returning home I tried to draw my husband into an argument but he maintained an annoying silence. I went to bed without having dinner half expecting my better half to apologize. He took no notice. Our cold war continued for the next few days. After the initial burst of temper I spent some time in reviewing the situation. I realized that my husband was after all doing his best. He spent very little on himself and tried his best to see to the needs of the entire family. He went to his workplace on a bicycle while most of his colleagues had two-wheelers. The children were not his responsibility but ours! I decided to do something about it and started giving private tuitions to supplement our income. I later got a job for myself and since then there has been no looking back. I now feel glad that I took a step in the right direction and played a supportive role in my husband’s life rather than nagging, complaining and making life miserable for all of us

7 comments:

sakhi said...

hi...a good piece.Got to learn something...."life goes hand in hand".

tilotamma said...

Nice. My father was exactly like that too ........

passerby55 said...

life teaches, only to those who want to learn ...

You have been a good learner...

good, simple post

Usha said...

After all this is what life is all about - what a sweet delight to rewind back to old times and chew over the experiences. Thanks for sharing!

Hip Grandma said...

Hi all!
thanx for your kind words

starry nights said...

I hope a lot of women read this and take something away as I did.

Andrew said...

Hi,
Thanks for inviting me over to read this post.

I like the fact that you resolved the conflict by looking for a solution rather than trying to turn it into more of a problem. You did your best to understand the situation from his point of view, which can make all the difference. We would all do well to emulate your example.

Good post.