Monday, July 10, 2006

What went wrong?

Not long ago parents exhausted their resources on caring for their elders and enabling their children to lead a decent honest life.For their old age they had no problem settling down with their sons and becoming part of their family.they had a say in everything from the upbringing of the grand children to the appointment of a servant maid.Today's parents who are nearing retirement have enabled their children to get the best they could afford to give them.They have tucked away enough money to see them through the remainder of their lives.They are not 'liabilities' on anyone they keep on announcing.Yet they prefer to maintain a safe distance from their children.they dare not comment on aspects in their children's life that do not meet their approval.In short they are a jittery lot.Where has the confidence shown by their very own parents gone?In short 'what went wrong?' Can anyone tell me?

7 comments:

passerby55 said...

beautiful post!

a reality i have seen/experienced too, and i think will remain the practise from now on...

what went wrong?
I suppose we want to buy everything with money ... peace too!

Hip Grandma said...

passerby55:i think so too but maybe the older generation today have as much adjustment problems as the younger generation

Mahadevan said...

Those who are parents today, perhaps many of them had the insurance protection of joint families. They are aware that this protection is no longer available to their children and therefore they take utmost care to provide for them. Those unfortunate few, who did not have the protection of the joint family and who suffered in bringing up their children, do not want their children to have similar experience and are extra careful in providing for them. Those who enjoyed a good legacy know the real value and they too are keen in providing for their children.

Parents today take enormous interest in the well being of their children to turn them out into good citizens, enjoying a comfortable life and they do not care for themselves and are not looking forward to get support from their offspring during their old age. The parents of today feel that children, if they are given a little independence can do well and that they need to interfere only when the children falter.

Finally, parents of today have the advantage of better education that the parents (particularly mothers) of yester years and therefore they know very well asto when to interfere and when to keep their distance.

sakhi said...

well i am really not matured enough to comment on this but u said it right.Something has definetly gone wrong.

May be coz the too much freedom that parents give to their younger generation on the name of independency and giving respect to younger one's thoughts has changed the whole picture.

respect must be given till a limit n leaving their children to their own thoughts not just weaken the family bonds but some where the thought of encroaching into other spaces comes into picture.There by we are moved from each other.

Now this self created barrier intervienes everytime we try to say something or interfere n the right n independency n the feeling of being attached to either a parent or a child is lost.

Hip Grandma said...

mahadevan:everything in life comes with a price including peace in the family.live and let live seems to be the 'taraka manthram' of today's parents.No problem if it works out well.
mj: you are right.A self imposed barrier has been ercted between parents and children but since you belong to the next generation I'd like to know your opinion in the matter.

Usha said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Usha said...

Very nice post. I think our generation is different from our parents in 2 ways:
one, we do not have the ability to be dependent on our children in any way including emotionally. we go all out to ensure that eventuality. perhaps because we train our minds to the eventuality of not having them near us because of their employment exigencies.
Second, as Mahadevan puts it, we do not have the support of an extended family at our own generation level.
In the name of modernity, we try to maintain a healthy distance from our children and their decisions. It is actually good in many ways. I think it shows a lot of maturity and cofidence in letting the children handle their lives on their own.