Friday, January 25, 2008

The joy of being tagged!

Here are some things that I changed my mind about. Thanks Usha I enjoyed doing it.There is a joy in getting tagged. You run out of ideas and wonder if your readers are going to vote you out. And pop comes a tag that literally makes you think and you make a 'come back' post and feel included.Isn't that wonderful? I was going to bore you guys with teaching experience-4 or 5. Dear readers please thank Usha for saving you from the onslaught.

It is important to be liked by others.

Only to a certain extent. After that one tends to get bored to death. The ‘wicked you’ craves for an outlet and just because you are so likeable you have to literally beam at people and smile when you want to scowl. Can be rather frustrating you know. I’d rather be myself than the most liked person on earth.

Obedience is a virtue.

According to my mother, yes. She had lovely children including me who never back answered her. But then she maintained her dignity and distance. I didn’t. So I have children who started questioning me from the day they learnt to talk and despite the fact that they obey me only when they are suitably convinced I find them lovely too. So I feel obedience or lack of it hardly matters. In interpersonal relationships it is the comfort level that is of utmost importance.

People are not malicious but they become so because of bad experiences or circumstances.

It is all in the genes. People are good or bad due to the genes they inherit. It is their attitude that is at fault. They are people who fail to see the positive side in a situation and end up being mean and malicious. Luckily extremely malicious people are as rare as extremely good ones. Most of us are averages.

Education broadens our view and makes people more humane.

Education and academic qualifications are not the same. A person may be educated by/ from the experiences he is subjected to. Valuable lessons are learnt in simple interactions with those around us. One can have a string of degrees to his/her credit and yet draw a blank where human relationships are concerned.

People who have no money troubles are happier.

The lack of money does create problems that are different to those caused by an excess of it. The latter has more to do with the mind while the former is more physical. I do have to admit that the phase in my life when we faced severe financial strain is not the one that I correlate with unhappiness and misery. Touch wood we are financially better placed but there seems to be some kind of indifference that seems to have set in. Financial security has certainly not made me jump with joy. I hope that I never reach a stage when I have excess of money ‘cos I’ve seen ‘sukh rogis’ who keep worrying about a new outfit for every party they attend and the designer accessories to match their exceptionally unique ‘costumes’. I am happy wrapping a saree or suit of my choice without worrying about what others think about me and I really want ‘not a penny more, nor a penny less’. However, like Usha I did believe that people with money were happier when I was young.

As people get older they get wiser.

I know of several people who have grown old but are as immature and stupid as they were 25 years back with no control over their emotions, driving everyone else crazy. I have also seen youngsters behave in a balanced and dignified manner putting us oldies to shame. Hats off to both groups. I belong to neither. That makes me wonder - ‘Am I wise? Anywhere near it?’

You can live on love and fresh air.

May be during courtship. Since mine was a strictly arranged marriage I wouldn’t know. The first time I went out with my husband, my love was certainly not strong enough to be happy in his company. I insisted that we eat out and he settled for a kulfi. I think I still love him for it.

There is a celestial guardian angel looking after each one of us.

For several years after my father’s death I seemed to feel his presence around me, feeling happy at my achievements and guiding me when I felt low. A little before my wedding I had a dream that he had arrived with a packed suitcase saying that he wished to spend sometime with us. Over the years I’ve continued to believe that he is up there in heaven blessing and guiding us.

All living beings reincarnate.

I do not subscribe to this belief at all. It seems to endorse wickedness with the tormentor getting away with what he does expecting to be punished in a future birth and the victim accepting the torture as a punishment for past misdeeds. No sir/ma’am I am not taking this nonsense as part of my destiny. There is just one life that one lives and let us spend it in peaceful co-existence.

Heaven and Hell are places you go to after death.

I am with Usha in this. ‘No they are right here in on Earth and sometimes in one's own mind.They are not even two different things but two sides of the same thing.’

And finally

I used to believe that man was superior to animals due to his sixth sense but nowadays I feel that animals are better in that they obey the laws of nature and attack either when they are hungry or insecure. Man with his ability to reason seems to be the most unreasonable living being. How else do you explain terrorist acts directed against innocent civilians?

I used to think that Lord Krishna really visited our home on the night of Janmashtami and wanted to catch him stealing butter that my mother religiously left for him in the puja room.

And I still think that my grandfather was the best person known to me and I see God not in the idols in the temple but in my thatha who had never ever spoken ill of another fellow human being, was kind and generous to all and taught us to treat all human beings with the dignity they deserve. This is one belief that is going to be with me always.

Everyone who reads this post is tagged. But I specially invite prats, hillg’mom and madhumita to do it.


Vishesh said...

ha,lovely post gradma....

hmm....i haven't changed my mind fact i change my plans only for trivial things...for i never plan...i like to just go along and do it....

obedience is an virtue...i disagree and agree....if human beings obeyed nature we will have better place...but without disobedience we wouldn't have had many a great Einstine

hillgrandmom said...

I'm with you about the obedience thing. Btw, there's something for you over at my blog:)

aMus said...

Nice to have you back :)

I've learnt that i'd rather be liked by myself first before trying to make others like me...

and obedience...sigh...what we called obedience my son calls 'control' we've compromised and reached a middle line...

Prats said...

This post really was thought provoking and really interesting. Thanks for this push for me...I'd love to do this tag....

Preethi said...

lovely post... On "obedience is a virtue" .. cant agree more.. I would be flabbergasted if Nantu listened to me unquestioningly.. obedience is stupidity . i also loved how you ended with the Krishna story...I did too... and sometimes in anticipation ate the bakshanam before they were offered to the God.. ;)

Anonymous said...

I read this post by Usha and got tagged for reading :)!
And now I read it here and again get tagged, but I am sure you guys did a great job and I would never be able to think out so much!

It is a change, true!

Usha said...

Enjoyed your take on these. You really believed that Krishna would visit each house - I worry about the indigestion he might have but then of course I am forgettting that only humans have such problems. :)
I agree that being of superior intelligence has not been a deterrent to the animal inside us - sad isn't it?

Hip Grandma said...

vishesh:you are too young to change your views on things/opinions that you hold.With age your take on these matters may change.

hillg'mom:I feel our times were different and in these days of tough competition obedience is equated to submission and questions are asked and answered so whatever was applicable to me no longer holds.

thinking aloud:My g'daughter, not yet two, protests when her mom drags her home after an evening out and if your son calls obedience as control you can do nothing but grin and bear it!But it is ofcourse 'give a little,take a little' in such situations.Ha!ha!I can afford to smile when my children get a taste of the trouble they gave me!

prats:Please do.I'd love to hear your version.

preethi:Objection!you sound like my children who would say that they cannot imagine how dull it must have been for me as a child never to answer back.I assure you it wasn't.We learnt to deal with her by putting our point across in a milder form.I am just joking.Actually my mom had her own set of problems without the five of us acting sharp.

veens:Oh come on!you're being modest.Usha would agree when I say that we learn useful lessons from youngsters like you.You'd do a great job of it I am sure.

usha:I sometimes wish that I could have continued with the simple faith that was part of me as a child.But unfortunately life teaches lessons that open our eyes to the bitter truth in the name of experiences.

Prats said...

Made my attempt on this tag....check it out..

hillgrandmom said...

have done this tag HHG