Saturday, May 10, 2008

Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother's Day to all of you super moms in the blogworld.Hat's off to each of you since you are dealing with a competitive world and rearing children is becoming harder by the day. Our times were easier than yours Since we had modest means we could not afford to have high hopes.I remember my father in law saying-

"I was not a graduate but I've managed to educate my children upto the undergrad level"

'So what??' I thought.

Today I may say 'I've given my children a professional education -a career oriented one'

My DIL would perhaps say 'So what's so great about it?' and this would go on and on.

Motherhood is not about how ambitious one is with regards to their chilren's future.It is about preparing them to slow down and relax. My friend's dad would say "Driving fast is no achievement. You press the accelerator and the vehicle speeds off. You should know to apply brakes at the appropriate time."

Yes driving is more about your capability of applying brakes. So in this harsh world let your children slow down a bit and appreciate all the good things around them.

Let them interact with those less privileged. They will value the good things that they have and learn not to look down upon the less fortunate among them.

Let them appreciate the beauty of nature. They will learn to conserve it.

Teach them the importance of physical labor. It will keep them fit and fine.

Encourage them to help those in need. It will make them generous human beings.

Allow them to work on their own. They may not become batch toppers. It will boost their confidence level which is definitely more important.

It is not necessary to provide them with every comfort in life. Let them work for at least a few of them.

Being ambitious is not wrong at all. Just know where to draw the line. It is not easy to say 'NO' when you have the means. We were better off that way. My son was in his first year at college when he asked us fo money to buy a second hand motorcycle.

"Who will pay for petrol?" I demanded.

"S...... has a motorcycle and his parents work in your college. They allow him to have a motorized vehicle. Please find out from them who pays for petrol in his case."

I was glad to have less money and it was easier for me to reject his application outright. This became evident when i spoke to S.......'s mother.

"He is our only son and we found it difficult to say 'no'. We spend sleepless nights thinking of the possibility of a road accident. I wish i had been strong enough to refuse at the very beginning."

Young mother's out there and other's like Lavanya who are in anticipation of the arrival of their little one have a great 'Mother's Day. It is not my intention to dampen your spirits. Just a piece of advice. Older mother's like me who have become grand mothers or likely to become one soon let us all act as checks and balances to our children. After all it is only for their own good and they are bound to understand it sooner or later. Let us celebrate the day by all means. Let us also understand the responsibilities associated with it.

34 comments:

dipali said...

Wonderful post. Happy Mothers' Day to you.

vishesh said...

happy mothers day :)

eve's lungs said...

Our parents had an easier time bringing us up. As a family , we too have certain values and dictums , one of which is never to peep into your neighbour's house to see what extras she has . It has worked very well for our kids . Want never translates into get !

hillgrandmom said...

I agree it was much easier bringing up my children than it is today, more so if you are a working mother. Happy Mothers day HHG

Usha said...

wise words and very well said Padma. Happy Mother's day to you.

nandita said...

Wonderfully thought provoking post hip grandma...loved your last line!

Alapana said...

When i have my kids i will come and read the post again. Somewhere deep down i know that when i have them i want to bring them just the way i was brought {very strict} and how my FIL brought up my husband { Very liberal} and we both turned out to be normal {who understands beyond "ME" } and i want my kids to know that too.Its a world outside which you may not know,but you can just go and explore it and do your bit.

Happy Mothers day to you too.

chandni said...

what a wonderful post this is!!!!

heartfelt and full of wisdom that is useful for each and every mother!

Suma said...

i love this post...because it says so very clearly what i feel...its so important to value what we have and why we have them...

happy mother's day to you...

lekhni said...

Good advice...a lot of parents do spoil their children by giving them every comfort that money can buy. Then the children grow up and do not understand the value of money..or they go into debt trying to maintain the lifestyle they are used to, when they start working..

Hip Grandma said...

dipali:Thanks.Wish you the same.

vishesh:Thanks and wish your mom on my behalf.

eve's lungs:yes if all parents taught their wards to be happy with what they have and work to attain what they want the world would indeed be a better place.

hillg'mom;The basic problem is parental guilt of not being able to spend more time with their children.They end up giving in to every whim and fancy of their kid.

usha:Thanks usha.wish you the same.

nandita:your first comment here?welcome and thanks.

alapana:the rules of parenting can change with time but the aim should be the same.Values ought to be imparted and imbibed.To become a parent is not difficult biologically.It is more difficult to be a real parent in a practical sense.Normally we become the kind of parent our mum and dad were.

chandni:thanks for you kind words.welcome here.

suma:I happened to watch a wonderful TV programme just before writing this post.The children danced,sang and every thing possible despite being physically challenged and the joy reflected in their mother's eyes had to be seen to understand how eagerly they must have waited to see the day. I felt ashamed for cribbing and complaining about my above average children.i really have no right to feel proud or puffed up.They are the real achievers.

lekhni:i feel annoyed when boys and girls in their teens being picked up and dropped to school by parents.The other option is to give them a scooter or motorcycle.Very few cycle to school.and then parents enroll them in gyms and yoga classes even if it means paying a hefty fee.It is a matter of prestige for them.They blame the lack of road safety for doing so.Isn't this paradoxical?It is this very group that contributes to a good number of road accidents.well i must stop before being branded a 'living fossil'.

Balaji said...

Great post. Something for young married guys like me to understand

mnowluck said...

Your blog has always been a place where one needs to stop by,should always read instead. but as of late as I'm tied with my work, i don't have that much time to sit in front of the computer much as I did before but will check your blog often as I had a new connection as of now.

Great Post my dear... You have been a mom to me too for your blogposts are as wonderful and worth as the advice that My mom (parents) would give me.

Happy belated mother's day

Hip Grandma said...

balaji:Married??when?and no invitation for me.too bad :-((.congrats all the same.what's wife doing?wishing you both a very happy married life.

Balaji said...

@gmom>> apologies gmom. I got married in January at Hyderabad. I have placed a photo of my wife with myself in my blog. Please do see the same. Thank you for your blessings

Joy said...

Happy Mothers day to you too HHG. Different generations have different problems to deal with. As usual, a wonderful read from you.

Wrt your response to Suma's comment: You are an achiever too in your own way. There is no comparison.

Hip Grandma said...

mnowluck:i haven't been very regular myself and the trend may continue for some time more.But I'll try to remain in touch.

balaji:forgiven.I'll check out your blog for your wife's photo.

joy:thanks.you are being generous.

rajk said...

Thanks for the post. Very valuable advice...I'm going to print it out and hang it on the fridge!

Sunita said...

Beautiful indeed. Will always remember.

Hip Grandma said...

rajk:thanks i just wrote what i felt.

sunita:it is easy for you guys to get carried away and why not?But i feel that an occasional 'no' will not harm.happy mother's day to you too.

the mad momma said...

oh what a beautiful post... i completely agree with every single sentiment of yours. every.single.one.

hope you had a good mother's day.

http://thebratthebeanandbedlam.wordpress.com

Ardra said...

Dear HHG,
was happy to see your comment. just wanted to tell you that i've broken my silence ...and this post is very timely- for me.
luvg rgds
ardra

Monika said...

lovely post... belated happy mothers day to u... will try and keep the advices in my head most of the times :) i think these days parents are too concerened abt the results more for bosting among their friends than anything else

and ya btw loved the comment abt driving very very true

Aartee said...

that is a wonderful message....yeah we do need to slow down and being a young mother sometimes i think i have missed out on telling my son stuff and sometimes i say oh my god, he is only 2 yrs old...you are absolutely right!

Hip Grandma said...

friends,
taking a break of two months from from my blog world.will get back ASAP.Oh yes,i'll keep track of your posts as and when possible.Ardra and monika,good to hear from you.aartee,welcome here.i'll have lots to share when i come back.Take care each one of you and see you in 2 months time.

Just Like That said...

words of wisdom and love, from one mother to others.. Thank you, HGMom. Will try to practise.:-)

Preethi said...

Happy Mothers day HHG

indianangel said...

All said and done true -- but its more important for parents to realize early that their kids are no longer kids, that they need to start on their own.

That things learnt the hard-way out of self-experience is the best learning one can gain.

That however hard you try sometimes you will fail and it will take time and maturity to appreciate failures - sont dont fret your kids too much abt it.

Excellent Post! Loved it and read twice!

africanfragments said...

you handled the motorcycle issue with great aplomb, wise and honest post.here's hoping more parents valued the important issues,the environment,social graces, social conscience....

WhatsInAName said...

Very late I am but I learnt a lot from this post. No wonder they are called pearls of wisdom :) Belated wishes to you

Sue said...

:) Tagged.

Siripriya Katragadda said...

amazing post....

sahana said...

hi and belated mother's day wishes!prats has tagged you,and since we go a long way back,i decided to peep in! found some courage in your thoughts! i have 2 daughters 11 and 7 years old, and the older one is growing up too fast for me to catch up. please do continue to write and keep our spirits up!

Prats said...

hey...where are you? I hope everythings ok?