Saturday, August 01, 2009

36 years of togetherness.

I've just completed 36 years of marriage and we are a unique couple who were born on Indian Independance and Republic days respectively and tied the knot on July 4th that happens to be United States of America's Independance day. I am sure both of us were freedom fighters in our previous births or perhaps scheming politicians who were sent again to lead simple lives - far from the madding crowd - one may say. I am indeed surprised how naive (read stupid) both of us could be and I think it is this quality that holds us together. I am planning to share some of the major goof ups we were involved in and leave it to you readers to tell me whether as a 'Ram milaye Jodi' we are entitled to celebrate our years of togetherness.

Three weeks back my husband brought home some toovar dal for half the market price from a roadside vendor who sold his stuff on Sunday mornings. The dal cooked really well and the flavor was also very good. We got worried if it was smuggled stuff or what. How else could a person be able to sell good quality dal for such a throw away price. I promptly asked him to get 2kgs. of dal each for two of my colleagues who were supporting large families. He gladly obliged. My colleagues were thankful for my concern and reported that the dal was indeed very good. The following week I decided my ex and current maid servants should benefit by the reduced price and my husband heartily agreed with me. He went in the scorching sun and although the man had increased the price by Rs. 5/- and he had sold most of it, my husband bought whatever he had and came home with 4.5 kgs. of dal. This time however the dal was not of very good quality with small insects creeping out. The two of us sat and cleaned it up - each one duly blaming the other and finally decided that it could not be given to anyone including my servants. I suggested that we roast it lightly to prevent it from being fully eaten up by the insects and we are now stuck with a container full of dal in addition to the amount we bought the previous week and the normal quota purchased from the market. We may have to consume it for the next 4-5 months. However I did give my servant 1 kg of the dal (good quality) purchased the previous week. She was the one who enlightened me on why the price quoted was so low.

"Didi, this is not toovar dal at all. This is called 'kussi' dal and is consumed by tribals in and around Chota Nagpur plateau. It is not very popular among people from the city. It tastes like toovar dal but is available at very cheap rates in the village side."

We felt like fools but were relieved that it was not smuggled or black market stuff. For all you know the person who sold it may not be seen again and we may end up being questioned. I request all of you to pass on recipes that involve the inclusion of a sizeable proportion of dal in it - ofcourse 'adai and vadai' excluded.

We went for the foundation day celebration at a local Sai Baba temple. My husband is a Sai devotee and I am a devotee of a lesser degree. We donated generously and bought two tickets for 'Bhog'. Later one of the volunteers who recognizes us said that we could eat bhog there for free and take back bhog for others at home in packed containers for which tickets were needed. Since there was no one at home we decided that we could use 1 ticket and give away the other one to someone else. I suggested that the ticket be returned to the volunteer who would in turn give it to someone in need. From a distance I saw my husband return the ticket and take out some money that he gave to the volunteer. 'He should know what he is doing' I thought and said nothing. The next day he asks me why I asked him to return the ticket and pay him money for a bhog coupon already paid for. I was apalled. I had said nothing of the sort. In fact I had told him not to take a refund for the coupon and in the din he thought that I had asked him to pay for it. You can imagine the 'tu,tu - main, main' that followed. It would have been better to have brought back more bhog and distributed it among our neighbors. The volunteer must have thought that we stupidly naive or naively stupid to return a coupon and also pay for it.

Looking back I realize that we are two of a kind but like the 'man in black' depicted by Goldsmith we like to pose as people who cannot be taken for a ride. But let me tell you we can be taken for a ride not in a bullock cart but in Rajdhani express. I realized how gullible we appeared to be when my ex servants daughter in law rang up from Chennai and asked me to lend her Rs. 50,000/- for the purchase of a flat (part of booking money). I really believed that her MIL would have no knowledge of her phone call when my ex servant surprised me by saying that the DIL had asked her to approach me but she was the one who suggested that since the amount involved was heavy, she should approach me herself. I made it clear that I was no Tata or Birla and being a bank employee she'd get a home loan for nominal interest. Within 2 months the son rings up for 1 lakh this time. I had to tell his mother to ask them not to pester me or else the 2 or 5 thousand I had planned to give them when their daughter joined college would also be withdrawn. The phone calls have stopped since and I hate myself for having had to say so.

There are many more such instances but I stop right here lest I sound repetitive. We are usually prudent spenders or so we like to believe but whatever we save is only to be squandered for nothing. I for one feel that I may as well spend the money with careless abandon. But how? I love Ice creams but I have blood sugar and tend to put on weight. My closet is full of clothes that I can carry over for for years to come. Medicines are all I need and I cannot over eat them. So I suppose I can continue to goof up with the full support of my husband and feel happy about it. I really wish I were naive enough not to recognize an act that could be called goofy!

Tell me now whether the following song could apply to us and even if we are a compatible couple for wrong reasons, should we not celebrate our 36 years of togetherness??

'Once a cock eye met a squint eye under the coconut tree.
Said the cock eye to the squint eye - will you marry me?'

30 comments:

Sri said...

Wow..36 years of togetherness is an amazing achievement!!CONGRATS!!:)


I think the best marriages are based on the "Opposites Attract" phenomenon..so even though both partners have different view points, there is much more fun in life..

Tys on Ice said...

36 years!...congrats on your wedding anniversary...

iam beginning to think that marraige evolves over time into a great friendship...its more important that you like the person you love.

apu said...

This piece was just so cute! I wish you both many more years of togetherness...

Usha said...

Here is wishing you many more years of goof ups together. Compatibility of this level calls for a celebration. hehe, thanks for sharing the goof-ups. They are so endearing.
Look at it this way, if it was only one of you who was making these and the other was perfection personified, what a horror. Now this way you can both laugh it all away.

mnowluck said...

wow! congratulations! I'm as of as 2/3 of your togetherness! :P

Btw.. your dates are wow.. Unique!!


You've been blessed. Give thanks to The Good Lord Almighty always !!

SV said...

May be this is what is called being "Made for each other" :-)
Congratulations!

Lavs said...

Many congratulations!!

Phoenix said...

Congrats for ur anniversary. You're quite an inspiration.

Aathira said...

Congratulations on your anniversary.

Wishing you many more years of togetherness.

Hip Grandma said...

Hi all,
thanks a million for your good wishes. With 36 years gone we do share a kind of companionship where our thought processes merge and we have become different people now as compared to the time when we began our journey together. Between us let me tell you that whenever I decide to pick on him I say 'you haven't changed a bit' and he says the same. But he has changed and so have I and I suppose that's what marriage is all about.

Sumana said...

Congratulations HHG. Wishing both of you many many years of togetherness with health and peace. You should celebrate your anniversary. In these days of use and throw relationships, i just hope that god gives all of us strength to hold on to family, friends and the loved ones.

shoba said...

Congrats on your anniversary..

kurrodu said...

Congrats! You two form a wonderful couple.. Your anniversary deserves a celebration... btw it was a hilarious post :)..

Has to be me said...

Congratulations on the 36 yrs of togetherness! WOW! And advance b'day wishes for the independence day! Im sure u too are made for each other!

Shachi said...

wow - 36 years :) my parents too have been married 32 years and they still pick on each other - all the time! sometimes we even help resolved issues - LOL! i find it really funny, even though they don't!

congratulations :)

Anonymous said...

Congrats !

We just celebrated my in-laws 50th wedding anniversary and they still pick on each other.

Here's to many more years of goofy togetherness.

On a side note, my mom was born on the Independence Day too.

-Krish

Hip Grandma said...

Hi all,
I hope you all had a good laugh at my expense. Krish- do wish your mom a happy b'day from me. As for the picking at each other goes, well it is the privilege that one is accorded after the many years of togetherness. With childen having left it is just for time pass and to do away with monotony that settles in.

Anupama said...

Congrats!! wi many more 'goofy years' together!!!

Bramha said...

36 years...Congrats to both of you for having sucessfully put up with each other this long and pray you have lots more to come :D

I often wonder if we could have a suspension clause in the marriage contract, or a force majeure clause..or have similiar terms and conditions. I know if I did, I am more likely to break them than adhere to them..just a wild thought really.

One year in marriage I thought my parents were great to have been married for so long. Now 9 years in marriage, I think "hats off to my husband, who puts up with me"

Just a thought...does love become a habit with the years??

Joy said...

Congratulations and wishing you many more happy years together...with some nok-jhok :)

Hip Grandma said...

Anupama:Welcome here and thanks.

Brahma:'does love become a habit with the years??'
Perhaps it does. After all a piece of furniture cannot be happily thrown off even if it is of no use to anyone. A spouse may get on one's nerves but life gets boring if the nerve breaker becomes quiet or mild. The nok-jhoks also become part of your existance and they are meant to add spice to life.

Joy: Thanks were it not for these little tiffs I may have nothing to write about.

hillgrandmom said...

Sorry I'm late HHG. Happy Anniversary.

dipali said...

Congrats, HHG. You and your husband really seem made for each other! Mayyou have many more happy years together.

The Inquisitive Akka said...

Congratulations!I am sorry, I'm wishing you rather late, I read your post only today. My husband are going to celebrate 1/4th of your wedding anniversary this year:) Its another unforgettable date- sept 11th!
Here's wishing you many, many, many more years of togetherness!

Hip Grandma said...

Dipali,IQA:Thanks.

Maddy said...

Was blog surfing and landed here. Wishing you many many years of togetherness with good health and happiness

Hip Grandma said...

Maddy:Thanks and welcome here.

Just Like That said...

HGMom, I missed this post.
God bless cockeye and squinteye and keep them happily and healthily together for many more years to come. Hugs!

Vetrimagal said...

Congratulations on completing 36 years of happy married life. I feel good, since I too am appraoching 36 years of married life.

Goof up is what binds me and my husband. And the war of words that follow, with me suggesting, " Jaane do , God has given us plenty, Let us think we spent for charity" That makes us happy till the next good - up!

God bless.

Hip Grandma said...

JLT:Thanks.I'll pass on your message to my goofy partner.

vetrimagal:welcome here.I don't feel as if you are new here since i've read your comments elsewhere. At our age we can goof up and have a good laugh too.What good luck!