I’ve been tagged by starry nights and here are my responses-
I AM THINKING ABOUT: How I’ll deal with the day when I leave for India and get on with life without my grand daughter to pamper.
I SAID: To myself that neither good times nor the bad ones last forever.
I WANT TO: Make amends for past mistakes and be careful in the future too.
I WISH: That I could erase from my mind all the bad times I faced. I think I’ve done it but it sometimes lurks in a corner of my mind. I also wish to be able to make myself useful to a fellow human being when he needs me most.
I WONDER: When the terrorism that threatens the world will end. Will it be wiped off or be replaced by something worse. I wonder how people can be mean to others. I feel that if I tried to be mean I’d hurt myself more than the person I wish to hurt. It is therefore in my own interest that I am good to people.
I REGRET: Not having realized the importance of a career earlier than I did. If I had joined my job around five years earlier I’d have propped up my sagging career. But now that I have written this I do feel, that, for the place accorded to me by my colleagues, I have no cause to regret at all. I regret not having visited my mother a little before her death and expecting her to live for ever. I regret not having done enough for a kind soul like her.
I HEAR: music in the chatter of my teen age students and return with them to my carefree youth.
I AM: Just what I am. An incorrigible optimist. I have no fear of an impending hell where we’ll stand to be judged by God Almighty. My image of God is similar to that of my father- Kind hearted, generous and affectionate. Such a God would forgive my mistakes and never punish me for errors committed unintentionally.
I DANCE: I don’t dance often but I danced for joy when I managed to top my batch in M.Sc at the age of 37 beating a 21 year old record held by the then VC. Another time when I jumped with joy was when I qualified the Bihar Eligibility Test for Lectureship at the age of 44 and was one among the 4 who qualified the exam from Jamshedpur. I felt like dancing when my grand daughters were born but keeping in mind the welfare of people around me I restrained myself.
I SING: I do have a ear for music but unfortunately I don’t sing. I only croak when no one is around.
I CRY: Easily in imagined situations or when I read a story. I normally don’t cry in real situations for I am usually in a philosophical mood or busy thinking of a way out.
I AM NOT: Good at hiding my feelings. Iam a very transparent person.
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS: Deepavali sweets as well as the tradtional stuff for all our festivals. My friends in Jamshedpur know what special dish to expect and when.
I WRITE: Whatever I feel like and whenever I can. I am not very organised in my writing.
I CONFUSE: The names and faces of cinema stars. My dead grandma would be ashamed of me .
I NEED: A time of my own each day of my life.
need to pull my husband's leg every now and then!