I was tempted to write about reasons for sticking to my husband (I mean remaining married to him) on reading Lalitha’s blog on the same topic. I am afraid my reasons are not romantic like hers. I can only give practical reasons. After all having been together for 33 years we have indeed made ourselves useful to the other person. I really wish to know his reasons but being a no nonsense type he refuses to get trapped. So here I go-
1) He makes our morning coffee and makes it rather well. I love being pampered to steaming hot coffee early in the morning. All good things have a price tag attached to it and so I too pay a price. He chooses to make the coffee at 5.30 in the morning and starts waking me up from the time he opens his eyes. We stay in an apartment complex that houses 118 flats and our block alone we have 18 flats. I am sure that mothers of school going kids don’t set their alarm clocks. They might be getting up when he wakes me for coffee. So he is actually alarm clock that doubles up for a coffee maker! Please don’t start imagining that he makes coffee out of any great concern for me. His concern is for the cream in the milk and is scared that I might disturb the cream that he carefully removes it from the milk and stores it in the fridge. He later churns it to butter, melts the butter into ghee and finally gives away to any one who is lucky enough to be allowed to consume ghee. Half the urban population has diabetes and blood pressure so the main beneficiaries are our present and ex servants. Gone are the days when servants were given left over food! Anyway they are the only ones who put in physical work and deserve to consume ghee. My ex servant lives some two kilometers from my house and I go to her place on my way to college to give her the ghee that is processed with care.
2) The next important role that my husband plays in my life is that he ‘walks’ me to health. The doctor advised me to walk at least five kilometers a day to keep a check on my blood sugar. My husband hates to pop pills and feels bad that I am on pills for sugar and pressure. He does his bit by accompanying me on a morning walk so that at least my dosage remains the same. On our morning walks he briefs me with world news, extracts from Discovery channel, ‘sansani’ and ‘vardaat’ news from the different channels that he watches when I am away . I am adept at becoming selectively deaf and take in what I feel like and leave out the rest. Much as I like to pull his leg, I must admit that I am touched by his concern and wish to remain well at least for his sake.
3) I was taught to drive a car by a driver from a motor training school. I had just turned 54 and they gave me a driver who was 77 years old! What the logic behind such a choice I wouldn’t know. He took the liberty of scolding me properly whenever I made a mistake and perhaps that was a reason. I still see him on the road, training youngsters half or a third of my age and he seems proud of me. I see him pointing in my direction and the trainee looks at me with a kind of new respect! My husband has taken it on himself to continue from where Mr. Hussain left. I am registered for a life long training. Whenever he is with me in the car the conversation goes like this-
“ Look out! There’s a bump! Slow down a bit. Yeah the boy may choose to cross…blow the horn for him ……….Careful! Caaarefulll….. there is a sppeeeeding mini busss…these fellows are not to be trusted….ah watch out for the cyclist..change the gear………!
Once I offered to take a friend of mine and her husband to another friend’s house for Holi. This friend unfortunately had a stroke and never fully recovered from it. Once I gained enough confidence, I offered to take her around and this particular trip was our first one together. My husband by my side continued to direct me as mentioned above. My friend’s husband got nervous and asked me if I had some problem with my eyesight. I don’t blame him ‘cos my husband kept warning me of bumps and buffalos in the same monotone. Anyone who couldn’t spot a buffalo had to be blind!
You may think I’d be annoyed and dump him on the road. Far from getting annoyed I actually miss his background music when I am on my own. It is like AIR of our times that would keep mumbling something to no one in particular but once put off everyone would miss it. To top it, my husband doesn’t know to drive
All of the above were mentioned just to pull his legs. The real reason is that he has been a caring husband and father that we have no reason to complain. I’ve grown old with him and we sort of compliment each other. I remember phone numbers and addresses while he takes care of bank accounts. He was born on 15th August and I was born on 26th January! We’ve cared and shared and as long as we are together our children can get on with their lives without worrying too much about us.