Wednesday, September 06, 2006

To Care And Share.

I was tempted to write about reasons for sticking to my husband (I mean remaining married to him) on reading Lalitha’s blog on the same topic. I am afraid my reasons are not romantic like hers. I can only give practical reasons. After all having been together for 33 years we have indeed made ourselves useful to the other person. I really wish to know his reasons but being a no nonsense type he refuses to get trapped. So here I go-

1) He makes our morning coffee and makes it rather well. I love being pampered to steaming hot coffee early in the morning. All good things have a price tag attached to it and so I too pay a price. He chooses to make the coffee at 5.30 in the morning and starts waking me up from the time he opens his eyes. We stay in an apartment complex that houses 118 flats and our block alone we have 18 flats. I am sure that mothers of school going kids don’t set their alarm clocks. They might be getting up when he wakes me for coffee. So he is actually alarm clock that doubles up for a coffee maker! Please don’t start imagining that he makes coffee out of any great concern for me. His concern is for the cream in the milk and is scared that I might disturb the cream that he carefully removes it from the milk and stores it in the fridge. He later churns it to butter, melts the butter into ghee and finally gives away to any one who is lucky enough to be allowed to consume ghee. Half the urban population has diabetes and blood pressure so the main beneficiaries are our present and ex servants. Gone are the days when servants were given left over food! Anyway they are the only ones who put in physical work and deserve to consume ghee. My ex servant lives some two kilometers from my house and I go to her place on my way to college to give her the ghee that is processed with care.

2) The next important role that my husband plays in my life is that he ‘walks’ me to health. The doctor advised me to walk at least five kilometers a day to keep a check on my blood sugar. My husband hates to pop pills and feels bad that I am on pills for sugar and pressure. He does his bit by accompanying me on a morning walk so that at least my dosage remains the same. On our morning walks he briefs me with world news, extracts from Discovery channel, ‘sansani’ and ‘vardaat’ news from the different channels that he watches when I am away . I am adept at becoming selectively deaf and take in what I feel like and leave out the rest. Much as I like to pull his leg, I must admit that I am touched by his concern and wish to remain well at least for his sake.

3) I was taught to drive a car by a driver from a motor training school. I had just turned 54 and they gave me a driver who was 77 years old! What the logic behind such a choice I wouldn’t know. He took the liberty of scolding me properly whenever I made a mistake and perhaps that was a reason. I still see him on the road, training youngsters half or a third of my age and he seems proud of me. I see him pointing in my direction and the trainee looks at me with a kind of new respect! My husband has taken it on himself to continue from where Mr. Hussain left. I am registered for a life long training. Whenever he is with me in the car the conversation goes like this-

“ Look out! There’s a bump! Slow down a bit. Yeah the boy may choose to cross…blow the horn for him ……….Careful! Caaarefulll….. there is a sppeeeeding mini busss…these fellows are not to be trusted….ah watch out for the cyclist..change the gear………!

Once I offered to take a friend of mine and her husband to another friend’s house for Holi. This friend unfortunately had a stroke and never fully recovered from it. Once I gained enough confidence, I offered to take her around and this particular trip was our first one together. My husband by my side continued to direct me as mentioned above. My friend’s husband got nervous and asked me if I had some problem with my eyesight. I don’t blame him ‘cos my husband kept warning me of bumps and buffalos in the same monotone. Anyone who couldn’t spot a buffalo had to be blind!

You may think I’d be annoyed and dump him on the road. Far from getting annoyed I actually miss his background music when I am on my own. It is like AIR of our times that would keep mumbling something to no one in particular but once put off everyone would miss it. To top it, my husband doesn’t know to drive


All of the above were mentioned just to pull his legs. The real reason is that he has been a caring husband and father that we have no reason to complain. I’ve grown old with him and we sort of compliment each other. I remember phone numbers and addresses while he takes care of bank accounts. He was born on 15th August and I was born on 26th January! We’ve cared and shared and as long as we are together our children can get on with their lives without worrying too much about us.

35 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi there! :) This is a very inspiring post.

The Kid said...

you guys are a really cool couple. looks like your husband is also hip-hop!

Srijith Unni said...

Hi,

That was a very nice read. To know that people care and share gives a pleasant feeling.
I believe you are one great combination. A Hip Grandma and a Caring Grandpa..! :)
There are so many such such small things about the people around us, which makes us love humanity and love life in it`s whole..
Thanks for making it so.

With Best Regards,
Srijith Unni.

passerby55 said...

i have read all and many of your posts .... but this one made me giggle like a girl all through the way .... i don;t knw the reason why ... but i enjoyed it thoroughly.

growing old together ...
that was beautiful.

a very belated birthday wishes to your husband ... does he read ur blog?

Rose said...

There is nothing more imperforate or absolute in a relationship than having to grow old together, hand-in hand..

:)

..Me

Anonymous said...

Hip Grandmom.....
I've been reading ur posts for quite some time.....
Thot it would be apt if I comment on your blog today with a wish....

"Happy Teachers Day"

Swap

Balaji said...

:-)

Sush said...

What a great post... you guys are what I call the typical Made for Each Other types... you are some kind of an inspiration for me and my would-be and I would very much want to see myself growing old with him and living the life well... Have a great day.. am hooked to your site from now on.. no doubts!!!

Has to be me said...

Hey I think u two are definetely made for eaech other! Independence day & Republic day itself says a lot! ;)
Thats a damn sweet post & love the way you two seem to compliment each other. Way 2 go. Surely inspiring for the younger generation!

Hip Grandma said...

anon:thanks a million!

the kid:we worked hard to reach this stage.

srijith:This is my version.I hope his matches mine.

passerby55:thanks passerby.No,he doesn't read my blog unless I bully him into it.He is more into political news and stays glued to online newspapers.

rose:very true.

swap:thanks for your good wishes. we need them all the more now.

balaji:well.........that's life.
:-)).

sush:welcome here and thanks a lot.I found your site interesting too.

has to be me:all normal couple turn out to be compliments to each other.You will remember me when you turn 50+.

Aqua said...

loved yr post! my hubby has been trying to teach me how to drive for aaaages and i still haven't learnt it! :( same goes for swimming!

pls pass some tips along!

Hip Grandma said...

aqua:don't ever try to learn driving from husbands.They can only make you more nervous.Go to a driving school for basics and practise on the road with a competent driver.Never risk taking your husband along until you are sure of yourself.I've been driving a two wheeler (non geared) for the past 22 years.So I knew what to expect on the road.

indianangel said...

Cool! The best way to treat one another is to compliment people for what they are even at times when you know that they havent done anything really worth praising. And that when I see in your writing,(by complimenting your hubby) along with the patience is one of the reasons for a companionship to last long!

itchingtowrite said...

wow... there is a lot of love and feeling for your hubby behind this one.. touch wood!

starry nights said...

Preeta..I can see the love you have for each other in every paragraph.you really compliment each other. I always believe that its these little things that count and is romantic more than just saying I love you or giving you flowers. a really nice inspiring post.

AND COFFEE IN BED..I want some too:)

visithra said...

To top it, my husband doesn’t know to drive
hehehe lol this was so funny ;p

so sweet may you guys be together for as long as possible

The Inquisitive Akka said...

Oh that was SO romantic :) I can empathise with the backseat driving!My normally soft natured husband goes berserk when I am driving. He's always sure I am out to commit homicide!

Nee said...

Hey Hip Hop Grandmom,

Really enjoyed this post...gave me a peek into the future (or so I hope, though I think I may be the one making the morning cuppa!)

Love your blog title too!

Cheers,
Nee

artnavy said...

this post gave me goose bumps- a hubby is a friend first dont you think....my posts are missing you and await your comments ;-(

Anonymous said...

Mom u gorgot to add 4th of July :)

Hip Grandma said...

indianangel:i meant it to be a leg pulling exercise.yeah, you are right a lot of patince and understanding is required along with a desire to make it work at all costs.

ITW:Thanks.glad you understood.

Lalitha:Your post was so cute.I can't come anywhere near it.I wanted to read it again but couldn't access it.

visithra:Thanks a lot!

IQA:They really can drive you mad!

nee:welcome here.you may as well train hubby to cook a meal.I've failed on that.

artnavy:hubby's are friends there's no doubt abt.cheer up I've read your post and will comment soon :-))

Rahul(anon):Son,your first comment here.I'm so thrilled!Can't afford to blow my trumpet too loud.I owe my readers some amt. of modesty.Any way since it is your request I'll let the world know that the Indian Independance day Married the Indian Republic On American Independance Day!

Archana Bahuguna said...

It's so wonderful to read about that. :-) We can imagine now how Mr Grandpa will be like. I specially loved the coffee part and the driving part. I am sure you are such a good pair.

And like you I also love to pull my husband's leg a lot. Only bad part is that he does it back too and more than me :-)

Archana Bahuguna said...

And like I said before, Please write a book!

Hip Grandma said...

archana:My husband is no good at pulling me legs back.but my children are famous for it.read anon's comment below artnavy's comment and my reply to it.may be I'll write a book after retirement.

Archana Bahuguna said...

he he .. that's too much of a coincidence ...

V N said...

U sound just like my mom talking abt her marriage that has lasted quite a few years like urs, LOL!!

15th of Aug and 26th of Jan????
:o

Thats a hilarious coincidence, hahahaha!!

:))

Hip Grandma said...

velu:read the comment below artnavy's comment and my reply to it.you may be interested.

The Visitor said...

The advantage of being the last to read a post - is that you also get to read all the comments. The disadvantage however is that they've all said whatever you wanted to say :(
Having reached 2/3 of your journey, I can very well identify with your feelings. I felt nice reading your post. Thank you.

Mahadevan said...

Starting with early morning coffee, your husband shows his concerns for you. Back seating driving, though at times irritating, is also due the care he has for you. It is not a surprise that you complement each other so well,you have spent thirty three happy years together. 15th August and 26th January, add savour.

Phoenix said...

Aww..that was so cute! :)

You're putting a lot of dreams in a youngster's eye.. hahah! :))

Hip Grandma said...

the visitor:It's my pleasure having readers like you.Thanks.Like anyone else I too need encouragement.

mahadevan:you are right and who can understand better than you!

phoenix:I hope that I encourage good dreams!welcome here.

Usha said...

What a wonderful post. You have spoken about what you are today and I can read what has gone into making this comfortable partnership - years of hardwork and understanding and pulling through good times and bad times.
I pray to god to give you both good health to continue complimenting eaach other and inspiring many around you.

Usha said...

You know there isa nice Tamil song from Vietnam veedu:
It goes like: "un kannil neer vazhindal en nenjil udiram sittudadi" was reminded of that song after reading this post!

Hip Grandma said...

Usha:yes I've reached a stage when one realize we finally have only each other to relate to at the emotional level. whatever be the limitation of such a relationship the solace it offers is incomparable.

serendipity said...

HHGrandma , my Dad makes coffee for my Mom too , pitch black and totally lacking sugar , its a daily ritual for amma to add milk and sugar when he's busy "concentrating" on his cuppa.They're perennially fighting about who does more work , whos more famished at the end of the day , they actually try to outdo each other with various degrees of sighing !!At the end of the day , Mom disguises kollu(supposedly reduces cholestrol)in the Kozhambu , Dad adds his NSC profits to Mom's account etc etc.Sometimes make me wonder if I'll ever have such a lovely relationship with my future husband!!
Nice read , just like all your others:)