Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gup shap-3

We had a marriage in the family and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. People from different corners of India got together and celebrated the occasion. I had almost forgotten that a cousin of mine could sing very well and he entertained us with melodies from the movies of the 60’s and 70’s. We spoke of the childhood that we spent together, the fights we had, the good times we shared and it appeared as if the 3 days we had together were just not enough. Two of my cousins spent two days with me and we left for Calcutta together. Coming back to an empty house brought tears to my eyes and I found myself wanting to return to my childhood days. I brooded over the days gone by and realized once again how lucky I was to have spent the formative years of my life in the company of such people.

Marriage is an occasion that brings the family together. A social gathering. People talk of doing away with elaborate rituals to save time. But each of these has a meaning. The simple act of two ladies welcoming the couple with an aarti for instance. It is usually done by including one each from the bride’s and groom’s side. This is a way of introducing one’s relatives to the other side. The maternal uncle and paternal aunt (Mama and Bua) feel puffed up and important.They are in great demand all the time! Each one plays a role and everyone feels included.

The marriage is over and people have already started looking forward to the next occasion. But more than the celebration, marriage means the coming together of two families. Very often it is the coming together of two cultures. It is an occasion for mutual respect. The girl enters her new home not really knowing what to expect. If she is received with love and affection there is every chance that she’d reciprocate in the same manner. The girl’s parents are equally anxious that their precious one is comfortable in the new set up. If initial hiccups are attended to, it may not be long before the two families bond well and become friends for life.

We have started living like isolated pockets of society. Let occasions such as these bring us together – so what if it happens only once in two years!

12 comments:

Mampi said...

The part 2 came too late.
But loved it.
Agree with you that the weddings are great occasions to get together and recount all the family times together. I love the grand coming together of allllll the family-relatives from far and close; fights; roothna-manaana; gossip; cribbing by the cribbers of the family and merry making in general.

Ardra said...

yes, totally true HHG...
the coming together of family members from far away- the reminiscences make all the hardwork involved worth it...

dipali said...

So true. These occasions seem to be too few and far between now.

Sumana said...

It is so nice and refreshing to get transformed to childhood the days and the good times spent. It is like enjoying a good movie and coming back to time.

hillgrandmom said...

For the other side of this--I live in a small town, which is the home of my husband's family. So, during marriage season, we sometimes end up attending up to 3 and 4 weddings a day! But it's true that a wedding of a close family member is great fun.

vishesh said...

ha i have got a lot of marriages to attend,but i consider them as a bore :P

Hip Grandma said...

mampi:This should actually be 'gup shap-3.Weddings are enjoyable but I also feel that a lot of food goes waste.

Ardra:The main attraction for my age group is meeting people and catching up with family news.

dipali:no one has the time to thoroughly enjoy the occasion.At least not the current generation of IT profs.

sumana:you are so right.

hillg'mom:this is what I get to hear from my sister in chennai.She represents our family on most occasions.For me this is a rare pleasure.

vishesh:At your age marriages may be boring.A few years from now they may hold some interest.Did you know a lot of match making goes on the side??

Raghu said...

Yes.. marriage is more than just an affair between two people. Its the starting point of mixing of cultures, ideas, beliefs, lifestyles and the dna's of two families. And initial care can go a long way in a happy union of the families.

Glad you enjoyed the event.

Hip Grandma said...

raghu:visiting after a long time?yes marriage is only the beginning of a life long relationship.Why do people spoil it by creating a 'hungama' on the very day?

J P Joshi said...

'But more than the celebration, marriage means the coming together of two families. Very often it is the coming together of two cultures. It is an occasion for mutual respect. The girl enters her new home not really knowing what to expect. If she is received with love and affection there is every chance that she’d reciprocate in the same manner.' How true! but sadly this is observed more by its absence. Expectations kill marriages even before they are solemnised.

Prats said...

Such true words...a marraige is union of two varied environments. Be it intellectual, or cultural or just pure beliefs...its an amalgamation. Its how well the people involved in it allow it to blend...
A wedding is a warm welcome for youngsters to be introduced to the older traditions of social skills...
I just have come away from a family wedding too...and my thoughts echo yours

Hip Grandma said...

J P Joshi:You are right.It is best to have minimum expectation if at all. better not to have any.

prats:It was a nice break wasn't it?