Culturally sound.

During my recent visit to Chennai a remark made by an acquaintance set me thinking. She felt that my long stay in North India had alienated me from my Tamil culture and I had acquired a mixed (read muddled) view of Indian culture as practiced in the south. I wondered what she meant. I did not try to defend myself for the simple reason that I could not understand what she meant. Correct me if I am wrong but it is my opinion that there is no such thing as Tamil or south Indian culture. Having lived in a multi-lingual/cultural township for the past 38 years I find that human beings are pretty much the same – never mind their linguistic/cultural background. I get put off when people assign certain behavioral patterns to a particular community. There is nothing typical to a community. We see good and bad people everywhere. Again good and bad as I have pointed out in earlier posts are relative to circumstance. A person who controls his/her emotions and allows the world to see the pleasant side of one’s nature is called good. But like ‘the man in black’ there are several others with a golden heart but a short temper. They need to be understood –that’s all. Then we are all ambitious. It is just the level that varies. Were it not so society would never progress. There are those that trample upon others to reach their goal and others who take slow and steady steps to get there. Ambition is not restricted to just one or the other community. So when there is so much in common to all human beings why do people talk of their own community as being culturally rich and more superior to other communities?

I tried doing a little introspection and making a list of how and where I differed from my south Indian roots. If one calls insisting on a dress code for my children as being culturally sound I may not fit into the Tamilian mould. However, the dress code keeps changing. Ever since my arthritic leg started giving me trouble I started wearing salwar/ kameez for my morning walk to avoid tripping on the road. I find it so comfortable that I have started wearing it at home and while traveling. Does it make me less Tamilian in any way? I should think not. In pretty much the same way I think that my daughters too ought to be allowed to choose to wear a dress that is comfortable and culture/tradition has nothing to do with it.

I agree that the Tambrahms would be shocked to know that I finish cooking and have a bath later unless it is a day of religious significance. It is easier that way because I do not find time to bathe twice in the morning. I need to bathe before leaving for college so the ritual of bathing before cooking the morning meal had to be shelved. I can almost hear my relatives ask how I could do that. Is it not our custom to offer food to God before consuming it? Food prepared without bathing cannot be given to crows let alone Gods………

Shocking?? Well, when I take out rice for cooking I set aside a handful of uncooked rice in a container and when a decent amount is collected I give it away to a needy person. I feel that this is an equally good alternative and feel no pangs of guilt for not being able to offer food to God on a daily basis. I do not think that this has anything to do with culture. Or does it??

A good number of my relatives accuse me of not talking to my children in my mother tongue. To be frank I mix English and Hindi and throw in a few words of Tamil in my verbal communication with them. They do the same. It is a language unique to us. I spek to my husband in Tamil but we do mix a little Hindi here and there. There are times when I grope for Tamil words. Like the word Maali in Hindi means gardner. The Tamil word is thottakkaran. Laundrer is dhobi in Hindi and vannan in Tamil. I rarely use the Tamil equivalent of the words and unknowingly insert the Hindi term in my conversation. I wonder if it makes me a cultural misfit in my own community? Is it not sufficient that I try to be a well adjusted individual in society to be called culturally sound?

A final word. The Wikipedia defines culture as “An integrated pattern of human knowledge, belief, and behavior that depends upon the capacity for symbolic thought and social learning”. In my opinion the basic human requirement is peaceful co-existence. If this is achieved through social learning a person can be called cultured and this is certainly not the monopoly of any community or country.

Having thus defended myself, I think I can safely go to bed.