Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day!!

I have a question that deserves an honest reply. Widowed mothers are deprived of active participation in their son/daughter's weddings as per Hindu customs. They say that their participation is inauspicious. Does their widowed status make them less or inferior mothers? Who else could be more of a well wisher for her children? Why not all of us including mothers resolve to do away with this misconception and do our bit to ensure their participation in family functions particularly if it involves their children. 

As for children they ought to take a lead if they wish to pay a tribute to mothers and motherhood. 

Happy Mother's Day to all mommy bloggers.


AA_Mom said...

What a nice thought. My FIL passed away a year ago and now my MIL wants me to give gifts on her behalf to others, If I know that the receiver (her nieces, nephews) means a lot to her, I absolutely refuse and ask her to do it herself. She does it but very reluctantly.

Sri said...

Completely agree, HHG!

Its been 2 years since my FIL passed away and if my MIL attends weddings, people look at her strangely..very sad state of affairs..

Hip Grandma said...

AA_Mom:I thunk you are doing the right thing by asking your MIL to give gifts herself instead of deputing the duty on you. She is attuned to the idea that it would be inauspicious if she did the job. i don't blame her. Years of cultural conditioning needs time to overcome and shed inhibitions. keep up the good work.

Sri: Society can be cruel to widows. your MIL needs to be very strong to ignore the sterange looks that people give her. Do your bit to help her deal with it. i am sure you will.

Sandhya said...

It is a very weird custom. Why should widows be forbidden from attending or participating in auspicious occasions? I don't think widowers are subjected to such humiliation by our society. Why this discrimination?

Another wierd custom is to forbid mothers who do not have children in participating in child-naming ceremonies or any other function related to children. They are not allowed to carry the child because it is (wrongly) believed that their ill luck will befall the child and the family. Why do we have such demeaning customs? I remember 15 years ago, when my niece was born, an aunt in whose house we had played as children came to the child-naming ceremony. She does not have children. She was so hesitant to hold my niece in arms. She was constantly looking at the guests until my mother and sister told her to carry the child in her arms and bless her. She was very happy. We women have to take a stand to put an end to demeaning customs.

Hip Grandma said...

Sandhya: yes it is weird that women should be discriminated and men remain unaffected. Here again it ought to be women who should take up for other women. That is why I felt that we should begin with widowed mothers and it is their own children that can stand up for them.