Monday, December 07, 2020

Mother of tags

Artnavy has tagged me to write a post on being a mother. She was tagged by Boo who in turn was tagged by HBM who is hoping to connect blogging Mothers all over the world in 80 clicks. The rules are- Just write a post of your own (5 things that you love about being a mom) and find someone to link to and tag - someone from your own country, if you like, but definitely someone from another country - and link back here and leave a comment. It feels strange to write about my experience as a mom now that I’ve become a grand mom 4 times over and have almost forgotten what it felt like being a mom. I’ll try my best but can’t promise to do a great job of it. I became a mom first and a wife and daughter in law later. Now before your devious minds start imagining things let me add that I only became and daughter in law in a real sense only after my daughter Priya was born. My post ‘striking roots’ in three parts, reflects my mood as a young girl in a strange situation and was never a part of the family I married into till my little girl arrived. And her arrival helped me bond with the very people who were strangers to me till she arrived on the scene. Suddenly my MIL became my ‘amma’ and my sister in law a dear friend. To my sister in law Priya was the sister she had lost to accident years back and the whole family was dancing to her tune. My schizophrenic brother in law was never vocal but his affection for the child had to be seen to be believed. Thanks to Priya till date I share a rapport with my in laws and I love them all as much as I love my own family. I am sure my in laws felt that way too. If Priya ensured that I found acceptance from my family it was my second daughter Prasanna who helped me bond with my husband. Yes, one can be a wife and yet not be one. Circumstances forced me to leave my 6 month old child, recovering from a bout of pneumonia, with my mother for a whole year. With her weak sight my mother could not have handled the responsibility of raising a six month old child. It was my sister Vijaya who pitched in to help.It was not easy either. The child would fall sick and visit to the doctor, administering medicines were all responsibilities that my sister took up apart from giving her food and generally keeping an eye on her. I missed watching her take her first step, speak her first word and God knows how much I missed her. My sister used to keep me updated with news about the child. We did not have a telephone connection then and it was only through letters that I got to learn about her progress. Waiting with me for letters from Gobichettipalayam was my husband whose first question when he returned from work would be if there was any news from Gobi about his darling daughter. We would go through the letter over and over again and imagine the situations described in the letter. If my sister in law helped me raise Priya, it was my sister who took care of her even without me being present. I had until then known him to be a dutiful son but he suddenly became an affectionate father and a concerned husband. He also began to bond with my family when my second daughter was left in their care and today my siblings and their better halves take his side and ditch me whenever they get a chance. Very bad of them, don’t you think so too? Bringing up my son Rahul was an entirely different experience. By the time he was born my MIL had passed away, sister in law was married and busy raising her own children and I had to bring him up on my own. Mrs. Sinha who lived in the flat below ours was my deputy and he only had to cry a little and she’d come running to find out what was wrong. He’d call Mr. Sinha ‘ uncle papaji’ and spend a good deal of his time in their house. I started working full time when he turned two and it was Mrs. Sinha who made sure that he ate his food properly and generally kept an eye on him when I was away. Thanks to my children, I was able to understand the joy of being part of a joint family and it give me immense pleasure to remember the love and affection showered on them by one and all. They’ve risen to the occasion and have supported me when I needed them if they had any complaints at least they’ve kept it to themselves. What are they up to now one may ask? How does it feel to be the mother of grown up children? Well, now I wonder if I am their mother or if it is the other way around. They are now my guardian angels. Their weekly phone call begins with ‘Did you go for your walk? Are you careful about your diet’? Their concern is touching. They are my friends. The three of them just have to get together and we can talk till midnight and I get regularly treated to their view on a good number of issues. I love them because I see an extension of myself in them. Priya and Rahul for their love for books. Prasanna for her patience and perseverance. I just cannot imagine life without them and to me motherhood has been a wonderful experience. Being busy with their lives they do not get time to read my blog which is good in a way. I don’t want them to get puffed up with pride so we won’t tell them anything about what I really think of them would we? Now I have to tag people. I tag Usha of agelessbonding to share her experiences as the mother of an only son. Gauri of tiny tidbits whose children seem to be little charms. Also she lives in Hong Kong so that way I’d be tagging someone living in a foreign country. Monika who I am sure has a lot to share about her experiences as the mother of Ojas. Dotm of dot’s thoughts for being the most experienced of us all. And finally eve’s lung who has been quiet for quite sometime now. There are other wonderful mothers out there and if anyone else like JLT or Rajk wishes to take it up please do so.